Dear Jeannie: Dating Choices and Altered Reality

Dear Jeannie,
Annie has been home-schooled by her quirky parents, who have given her a lot of freedom and support over the years. She has an intense, embarrassing crush on a boy she barely knows--a poet who helps her sometimes with her English homework. But he says he has a serious girlfriend. Meanwhile, there is a wild-eyed jock who keeps showing up at her church and hitting on her. Even after his initial shock that Annie is missing a leg, this hottie keeps asking for her number and a date. She can't get him to leave her alone. Annie's much more interested in the poet, but she can't figure out a way to break him and his girlfriend up. Or if she should even try. How can she murder and bury this unrequited attraction before it pushes her into destructive behavior? Or is that likely for a sheltered, reasonably-balanced girl? Does the jock have a chance of wearing down her resistance?
Sandwiched in Sanditon 


Dear Sandwiched,

Home schooling has its advantages academically, as studies show, but socially, there can definitely be disadvantages. You didn't mention why she was home-schooled (perhaps her parents didn't want to subject her to potentially cruel peers?), but it makes total sense that she'd fall for this poet, especially if their interactions have been limited to online. But I'd also think that she'd be two-parts fascinated, one-part scared by the jock. He's attractive, an up-close-and-personal type who has seen her maimed status and still wants to date her. That would be a huge draw for her, I'd think. Her "defective" status wasn't a deterrent, but the fearful part might come in about why he's not deterred. (Very much a catch 22, but that's how I'd see it.) The poet guy is more cerebral--in her mind. Crushes like that can be hard to rid yourself of, unless faced with physical evidence to counter the powerful mental connection (i.e., the picture your online buddy sent you looks nothing like them). I just don't think someone who has been fairly sheltered would really have "destructive behavior" when she has the other, way-viable option of the jock. But that's my two cents. Thanks for writing in!


Dear Jeannie,

Gen is a young woman in modern times, who is very close to her brother. However, she has trouble telling reality from her imagination, and has terrible waking 'nightmares'. Her brain will latch on to small details and turn it into a life threatening situation. Is this kind of thing plausible, or something I'm completely making up? Also, how would it affect her in day to day life, is it likely to hit often, or only occasionally. How will her close friendship with her older brother affect her? 

Trying 


Dear Trying,

Altered reality is a real thing. I've had folks in my office who see and hear the same thing that I do, but state that they saw/heard something completely different. Their perspective is skewed, because their brain chemistry is altered by mental illness. The question to ask is not whether this is plausible, but what kind of background are you giving Gen to have this affliction? I'd venture that something traumatic would have to happen for her to have these waking "daymares." That's a symptom of PTSD for sure. People with PTSD try to avoid anything that might trigger a reaction like this. So it probably wouldn't be be a very common thing, as she's probably grown accustomed to what sets her brain off. I'm not sure I'm understanding your last question correctly (you want to know how it would affect her symptoms?), but her friendship with her brother would likely be one of her calming factors, as he probably could deescalate her quicker than others. If you're interested in additional posts that discuss the nature of PTSD, check out this link. The first two posts are the most informative, I believe.

Got Questions?

I might have some answers! Leave your question anonymously in the comment section below, using monikers like Sleepless in Seattle. I'll post my responses in future Dear Jeannie columns. Since the queue is getting longer, I'll post a mid-week Dear Jeannie column next week!

Dear Jeannie: Dealing with Abandonment

Dear Jeannie, 

Barrow is a young knight in a country ravaged by a never-ending war. His father died when Barrow was a baby, and Barrow idolizes his cousin Aelor, who is quite rebellious. When Aelor betrays his family and country and joins the antagonists in the war, Barrow is crushed and refuses to look up to anyone after this. He chooses instead to find his own way and be his own leader, which causes conflict between him and my MC, the leader of the group. Is it realistic that Barrow shuns role models because of this betrayal? Throughout the course of the story, he is always trying to prove himself to his father and Aelor, even though neither of them is around to see him. Does this happen to people who have lost someone they admire?

Hazy in Hutto 


Dear Hazy,

It's absolutely feasible that Barrow would resist allowing someone to be a role model for him. He essentially has PTSD to be so affected, but it's feasible. When the human brain can't shut off the emotional connection to certain events (like the betrayal of Aelor crossing sides), it fears repeated exposure to similar events. If Barrow can just avoid that at any costs, he'll be ok. I can more readily see Barrow trying to prove himself to his deceased father rather than Aelor. Once crossed or betrayed, especially at the beginning (you didn't mention how much time passed), Barrow would shun anything to do with Aelor, even mentally (such as proving himself). He'd react negatively to even the suggestion. But perhaps after time passes, he might want to prove himself as better than Aelor, a more stand-up guy. Deep-seated abandonment issues can come out this way...but a father's death when Barrow was a baby is also a form of abandonment. So essentially he's been abandoned by the two men who meant the most to him. A very sad state for our poor Barrow! Definitely in need of therapy. Let me know if I can help further. Thanks for writing in!


Dear Jeannie,

Roma is special, and she knows it. The only heir to a family with odd 'powers' they don't share with outsiders, she doesn't so much rely on her gifts and training as she does expect family and friends to spoil and shelter her. When her dependence on the protection and favor of others gets her into hot water, she lets her best friend rescue her. By marrying her. She's not too young to marry, but she's definitely immature. And their rushed wedding now makes her a wife in an unfamiliar territory. She's not welcome, or wanted, by her husband's family. She wants to hold on to the way she's used to thinking about things--not taking responsibility and letting her family's reputation carry her--but I have got to make an adult out of her. She's not making friends with her new relatives, and she's not engaging in social and civic duties that might thaw her in-laws some. What will it take for her to put aside her childhood and accept her place as a woman? Also, she faces a lot of prejudice from her husband's family. What might warm them to her?

Thanks,
Shell-Shocked in Charlotte 


Dear Shell-Shocked,

Nothing is more sobering than being protected in a cushy way and having that stripped from you. The more independent activities her husband's family expects of her to do, the more she'll have to learn (trial-by-fire sort of way). A whole lot of growing up, though, happens when people are faced with calamity. You could see how the youth in America grew up after 9-11. I'd think that if the entire family faced some sort of ordeal together, then they'd be more likely to grow closer. If you could figure out how Roma could use her powers to help the family in some way, even better. When she engages in her childish ways, you might have her win over another married girl around her age, and have her slowly be introduced to the more subdued facts of life, and even feel compassion for the other girl. She'd more readily learn from a peer at her age than from an adult, so you could work this angle. Best of luck!

Got Questions?

I might have some answers! Leave your question anonymously in the comment section below, using monikers like Sleepless in Seattle. I'll post my responses in future Dear Jeannie columns. Since the queue is getting longer, I'll post a mid-week Dear Jeannie column next week!

Dear Jeannie: Futuristic Castaway Love Story

Dear Jeannie,
Mark has a problem. As a mature, kind person, he's been asked to help a foreign castaway adjust to his people's culture and language. The castaway is growing on him. She's sweet and smart and eager to please. But she, and the rest of Mark's society, are aware that her own people are coming for her. It may be next week, it might be ten years, but they will find her. The more of a claim Mark has on her, the greater the risk of disaster. His own people are concerned about Mark. Conception is difficult among their people, and he is wasting the best years of his life tutoring this little foreign girl when he could be married and starting a family. Problem is, he doesn't want anyone else. What factors are going to weigh heaviest in making a decision about this? Can he justify picking her over his own people? They like her fine, but she's not kin and she brings trouble. Should he choose her, what might influence them to agree?
Torn in Toronto 


Dear Torn,

The answer to your question depends on a few things. How entrenched is Mark in his own culture? He doesn't seem to be a rule breaker by nature, or he wouldn't have been chosen to help the castaway. But the smart, introspective types have strong moral values and opinions, and are very prone to follow their heart purposefully. However, the more influence he has in his world, the more likely the others might be able to accept her, which would make his choice easier. Especially if he were to impart some knowledge to her that would end up benefiting the townspeople in some way, say, during a battle. You mentioned that he was mature, and that others thought he was wasting his prime years on the castaway. But does Mark a long history of girlfriends? Something tells me he doesn't. And that the reason he doesn't is that he is picky, perhaps. That would factor into his decision to choose the girl over his culture, because he might reason that no one in his culture has made his heart pound. Anyway, hope this helps. Thanks for writing in!


Dear Jeannie,

Owen's military father developed PTSD and an alcohol addiction which led to him abusing his wife and slapping around Owen and his two younger siblings during his worst episodes. After 10 years, his mother, a kind, loving woman, got a divorce and left with the younger two children. Owen loves the military and is ferociously loyal to his father, he's furious at his mother for (what he sees as) abandoning his mentally ill father and stealing the children. His mother wants to reconnect with Owen, but Owen absolutely despises her. He's a kind and generous individual, and I would like him to repair his relationship with his mother, but I cannot figure out how. He has brutally rebuffed all of her attempts to communicate, and he absolutely won't listen to his siblings discuss it. His father is likewise bitter at her for 'turning the other children against him,' and he encourages Owen's rebuffs. Any ideas?
Mystified in Mississippi 


Dear Mystified,

Owen might need to see another family with a similar dynamic, one in which he'd be more aligned with the mother and the abused children, to be able to see the dynamic in his own family. When people are entrenched in a certain viewpoint (and Owen definitely is that), they can't see beyond that. To expect him to without some sort of outer intervention (i.e., a letter from his mom written before the divorce, or something similar you've seen in movies and read in books) or exposure to the harmful effects in another family would be like expecting an insane person to suddenly become sane. If he could grow close to a woman, perhaps older (not romantically, though he could be interested in the eldest daughter...that sort of thing) and could begin to see evidence of her husband's abuse and how it is negatively effecting his love interest and the maternal security he feels from this woman, he might be able to see his father for what he was, rather than idolizing him and putting him on pedestal. I'm happy to entertain any other questions below in the comment section about what I've suggested. Good luck!

GOT QUESTIONS? 

I might have some answers. Leave your question below, anonymously, using monikers like Sleepless in Seattle. I'll post my response in future Dear Jeannie columns.

Dear Jeannie: Sci-Fi Exclusive

Dear Jeannie,

Dahlia has spent her young life focused on escaping the mining outpost where her family lives so she can get an education and spend more time with fewer aliens (sci-fi alert). She was taken over by a parasite who hijacks her body and dominates her words and actions, even to the point of forcing her to commit crimes. She is eventually rescued from her attacker/parasite, but she spends the next several books coping with the rape-like trauma. I'm concerned about her relationships post-rescue. She formed some friendships while the entity had her, and I'm not sure how she's going to interact with them in the aftermath. Distancing herself? Codependency? Promiscuity and/or social marathons (this would be extremely out of character for the old Dahlia)?

Whiplashed in Space

Dear Whiplashed,

This makes me think of The Host somewhat. Having your body taken over by something else would probably have some traumatic symptomology not unlike PTSD, yet Stephenie Meyer doesn't address this at all. Her heroine is just peachy when the alien is taken out. But for your book, the biggest question is should she be fully aware or not when she's "not herself." If she's not fully aware (i.e., dissociated), then she wouldn't even know who the friends are she made while the parasite had her. I think there's more tension if she is aware, because then she'll have to deal with more angst afterward, having been privy to everything she was "forced" to do. I think she'd stay away from these friends, given that the Dahlia they knew isn't who she is. Even more so, they would remind her of this traumatic period in her life that she's trying to move on from. Not sure how to answer your promiscuity question...was she promiscuous with the friends? At any rate, people who have experienced trauma generally try to avoid anything that could connect them with that trauma. Hope this helps!

Dear Jeannie, 

Conner and Sierra are from the same world. Conner was sent to Earth as a baby by his father in an effort to save his life. He grew up as an orphan and has always felt like an outcast, especially when he develops powers he can't control. Sierra is developing her skills as a Light Mage in Conner's old world. She's told she needs to summon a Guardian Spirit to help protect and defend her. Inexperienced, she inadvertently summons Conner from Earth. Since Conner is used to being on his own and not growing close to others (mainly from fear of abandonment and being used by those he came to trust), how would Conner react to suddenly being thrust into this new world where he is magically bound to protect this girl he doesn’t know? And would it make sense that Conner grows close to Sierra and comes to realize he loves her, or would he be distant to her for fear of her abandoning or using him?

Muddled in Missouri

Dear Muddled,

I like this plot line...reminiscent of Emma's story in Once Upon A Time. Conner has grown up extremely distrustful of others. Most system kids are, whether orphaned or fostered. Adults are synonymous with unsafe and untrustworthy. The only thing Sierra would have going for her is that she's his age. You didn't mention whether Sierra's father was in the picture, but it's also in her favor (and by that, I mean Conner won't be turned off by her) that she's somewhat orphaned as well. This will make them kindred spirits underneath all the awkwardness and confusion about mages summoning mages and being bound to protect her, something no one did for Conner (that he can remember). He's going to be resistant, resentful, and fearful, though he'd never admit it to anyone. But yes, love can develop amidst the most extreme circumstances, so that shouldn't be a problem. But let them get to it slowly. Thanks for writing in!

GOT QUESTIONS?

Post them anonymously below using monikers like Sleepless in Seattle, and I'll post my answers in next week's column. The queue is EMPTY!

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What Does Your Character Value?

I ran across this quote yesterday, and it, coupled with something said by someone I highly respect, led to this post today. 

“Many of the things you can count, don't count. 

Many of the things you can't count, really count.” 

 ― Albert Einstein

 
I know Albert's a genius, and all that, but I'm not sure I agree with this. 

Everyone counts multiple things every day, whether you are consciously aware of it or not. Most people have a running tally of minutes and pennies in their mind, because the world seems to revolve around money and time. Do these things count count?

I think that's individualized. I don't value money as much as I value time, but the old adage, "time is money," rings very true for me. So perhaps I do value money more than I thought.

What about the other things you can count? Here's some counts involving time that might not come to mind initially, but how many people do you know define themselves by one of these below?

1) months sober
2) years since an act of abuse or being diagnosed with cancer
3) years married/separated
4) birthdays of your children
5) anniversaries of deaths

As to things unrelated to time, like:

1) number of states/countries you've visited
2) how many movies you've seen
3) how many signed first edition books you own
4) number of techno-gadgets you stood in line for to buy
5) number of suicide attempts

Where am I going with this post, and why should you care?

People count what they care about. If they didn't care, they wouldn't keep up with the count. Can you see how any of the above examples could be something that a person defines themselves by? A recovering addict keeps close watch on clean time, the same way someone who suffers from PTSD due to a rape would count the passage of time since that event changed the outlook on their life.

A film critic would naturally count movies seen, as would a traveler the number of states. They easily could define each of themselves by these values.

My current character in my YA counts the number of years she has gone without being kissed. For her, this lack of experience defines her.

What about your character? What does s/he  value? What do they spend their time counting, whether they consciously realize it or not? Is it something tangible, or intangible?

And once you've figured that out, how can you impact their ability to count it--value it--through your plot? Here are three ideas to help you brainstorm:

What could change how they count what they count?

Say a military man on the front lines counts number of lives saved. Could an injury get him honorably discharged and unable to count this particular category in this way anymore? Now he'd have to find some other way to meet this need, because his counting has been categorically changed due to a limitation he suffered.

What could take away what they count? 

Say an employee counts the number of reports done a certain way since being hired. Could a new boss come in and declare that report no longer needed, taking away her feeling of worth and productivity? making her counting category inherently change in some way as to throw the meaning out for her?

What could disrupt their ability to count?

Say a woman counts the number of animals she could rescue in an community, because rescuing them feeds her need to take care of something else besides herself. Could a freak storm or flood render this counting useless for several weeks?

Let's Analyze

Have you ever thought about the fact that we count about what we care about and value? What's one thing YOU count?

Dear Jeannie: Paranormal PTSD

Dear Jeannie,

My character is named Tex and is the equivalent of a preteen at the time the story takes place. He was raised by an older boy named Johnny who did his best to keep Tex out of harm's way, but ultimately failed when he was forced to leave on short notice when Tex was about 5 or 6. Little Tex had a rough time living on the frontier: malnutrition, inability to find steady work, people taking advantage of his naivety, having to get streetsmart or die, etc. He learned that he possessed the ability to experience emotionally impacting events that occurred in certain places. He found this out the hard way by experiencing the Battle of the Alamo first hand several years after it ended. As a result, Tex now avoids memorials and old battlefields like the plague, fearing something similar may happen. Tex doesn't see Johnny again for 16 years, by which point he promises to aide Johnny in his side of the American Civil War. What kind of emotional baggage might Tex be carrying with him? 
 

Sincerely, 
Stressing in the States

Dear Stressing,

It's pretty clear that Tex is likely suffering from PTSD. One of the key symptoms of PTSD is avoidance of stimuli (people, places, things) that remind you of the trauma. Since he is scared to visit old battlefields and memorials where people died, this would fit. He might also have flashbacks, nightmares or day terrors...you can see my Anxiety Disorders label for more info.

What might be more painful for him is the idea that Johnny doesn't seem to remember him (whether Johnny does or not). I'm sure as a young boy he was wholly reliant on Johnny, and probably worshipped him with hero status. You didn't make it clear whether little Tex knew why Johnny had to leave suddenly, but either way, that event would have devastated him. Seeing him years later, seemingly having moved on, would make him very wary, if not downright pissed. I hope that you have given Tex a very good motivation to want to help him, otherwise that plot point might seem implausible. 

Best of luck to you, and thanks for writing in. 

Got questions of your own? Leave them in the comment section, using monikers like Sleepless in Seattle, and I will post my answers in next weeks column.  The queue is empty, folks.

Dear Jeannie: Depersonalization Disorder and Survivor's Guilt

Dear Jeannie,
 
In my sci-fi book, my character endured sensory and sleep deprivation torture for about 5 weeks before being rescued. He hallucinated a malicious version of himself which taunted him. This character had previously died under similar circumstances before being reincarnated. Due to the similar feelings of isolation, helplessness, distortion of senses and reality, as well as the feeling of dying in both situations, do you think it would be realistic for him to develop Depersonalization Disorder as a result of the second event? Also, what other emotional baggage might he develop as a result of this event?

Lively in London


Dear Lively,

Dissociative disorders are a heck of a lot of fun to write, aren't they? Depersonalization disorder might fit the bill for your guy, but let's make sure.

People with this disorder experience episodes during which they feel detached from, outside of, or lacking control of themselves. They know it's only a feeling, not reality.  However, therapists have to rule out certain disorders before considering Depersonalization. One such disorder which you might want to look at is Acute Stress Disorder. Within ASD, the person can have experiences of being outside of their body, numb, and detached. So be sure to check out that link, and if he fits ASD, that would rule out Depersonalization Disorder.

To throw some more research your way, your character's second experience sounds more like Brief Psychotic Disorder to me. Due to his physical and psychological torture, he hallucinated this mean version of himself. Not knowing the full extent of his first experience, just that it is similar to his second, I feel pretty strongly that one of the anxiety disorders (ASD, PTSD) might be a better fit.

What do you think? Feel free to write responses in comment section below.


Dear Jeannie,

A man is responsible for the death of his family in a vehicular accident and because of depression and subsequent job loss, became indigent. What are some ways survivor's guilt would express itself and what is the shortest time frame it would be expected he would recover without intensive professional help?

Wrecked Two Ways in Texas 


Dear Wrecked,

You've already mentioned one of the ways survivor's guilt rears its ugly head: depression, which subsequently led to missing work and eventually losing his job. But in a previous post I did on this subject, I explained that various other reactions would be feasible. Here's an excerpt:

Survivor's guilt used to be it's own diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual until 1994 when it was subsumed under Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It carried with it many of the same criteria as PTSD does now, including depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances, withdrawal, nightmares, episodes of uncontrollable crying/laughing, and a loss of interest in things that one brought pleasure. (Very similar to PTSD.)

As for recovery time, that is such an individual variable I couldn't hazard a guess. Given his active guilt in that he was driving the car, I would think it could last a fairly long time. Was he really responsible? Driving drunk? Where there any outside influences on what happened for him to lose control of the car? Some individuals never quite get over this, but some might take years. Therapy is the treatment of choice for this condition, so he could receive help in reframing his belief as being the cause of the accident (if indeed he wasn't) so that he can start seeing himself as a victim.

Any other thoughts or questions, shoot them to me below in a comment.

Got Questions?

Post them anonymously below, using monikers like Sleepless in Seattle.
I'll get to them in future Dear Jeannie columns.

Character Clinic: PTSD in Action

I've got Nathan, Earl of Tavishton, on my couch today. He's had quite the upbringing, with an inconstant tart for a mother and a father perhaps with more foolishness than sense, who gave up his life in a duel for her dubious honor. Nathan witnessed his father's gun backfire, which severed the elder Earl's hand, and watched from the top of a carriage as his father's opponent murdered him. Nathan is no rake internally, though he tries hard not to look like he's not trying to hard. (You Regency folk will get that, I'm sure.) He tries to look like a wastrel to punish his mother for his father's death.

Nathan's author, Robin, wants to know: Is having a fear or guns so bad that it makes Nathan freeze normal? How difficult should he find forgiving his mother? Is there something that must occur for that forgiveness? Would the guilt of not stopping his father be strong enough motivation to make Nathan go to such an extreme length as to steal from his best friend to keep what little connection with his father he has?

This is a perfect example of a character who has a ton going on and would really benefit from a full analysis. However, I'll do my best with this mini-assessment to make it worthwhile, I hope.

First and foremost, a reaction of freezing in place when faced with a gun or "flintlocks" as they were is totally reasonable. That would be a trauma reaction to an inanimate object he had previously witnesses carnage as a result of its use. In particular, watching his father's hand explode would be highly traumatizing, and no doubt would result in a complete revulsion of a gun.

What would this look like? Not wanting to touch one, carry one, be around them, have them in his house. He would likely show hypervigilance and paranoia when other people carry them or shoot them in close proximity to him. He might have nightmares of the event, or even reenactments of the trauma during the day (i.e., visualizing it happen when around open fields with carriages). You can safely say he'd never set foot in a duel field ever again. Very realistic...and likely not something he would get over for a long time, if ever.

As for forgiving his mother...it would be tricky, but if you could write it well, I saw a great character arc for him to not only forgive his mother, but also his father for his "stupidity" for putting his life on the line. What if Nathan had someone for whom he would protect her honor...no matter what? If Nathan could somehow be put in the shoes of his father...who clearly loved his flawed mother, and was willing to die for her. Having him learn the lesson that no one is perfect, and that yet people are still worthy of sacrifice. I think he could do it.

It was rather unclear from the intake form that Nathan really suffers from guilt of not stopping his father (from the duel, I presume). However, if he does indeed feel guilt at sitting atop the carriage and not stopping the duel, I would think it would have the opposite effect on him wanting to act like a wastrel. Punishing his mother by acting like a dandy would hardly honor his father's name. Don't have time to go deeper here, but I hope you get what I mean.

Thanks for writing in...I realize you wrote in many, many months ago when I was slammed with mini-assessments. Thanks for your patience, Robin!

Let's Analyze

If you felt guilty for the death of someone, how would you try to honor their memory? By being the best person you could be and assuming their "title" (i.e., mantle, position, etc), or by punishing the person you truly felt responsible for the death?

Character Clinic: Jane Johnson

I've got JM's character Jane on the couch today. Jane is a fiery-tempered 23-year-old pirate in a historical action-adventure. She was found when she was 3 years old in the ruins of her hometown. Her father, a ship's captain, took her in and raised her as his own. He was often distant with her, with occasional bouts of indulgent moments. The first mate of the ship, Katherine, took Jane's maidenhead when she was 14, and Jane considers herself a ladies' girl. When she was 12, a shipmate cornered her in the hold and his intent was to rape her. Jane and her best friend end up murdering him and throwing him overboard.

JM wants to know: Would a youngster who's received a little pull but a lot of push from a parent still be so eager for that parent's attention? Could her temper and lack of patience be a symptom of that? Is her violent reaction to male attention consistent with her age 12 experience?

In all my work with foster children, one thing I've discovered truly baffles me. How can a child still cling to the hope and ideal that they will return to their biological parent(s) who beat them, didn't feed them, didn't clean them, didn't talk to them, and abandoned them?

To that end, all I can say is that this desire to receive attention is inbred in all of us. If we can't receive positive attention (in the form of hugs, verbal affirmation, etc), then we try to receive negative attention (which would be where her lack of patience and temper comes in to play). If she's doing these impulsive things, including sleeping with Katherine when she knows her dad doesn't want her to, then no doubt she receives negative attention when she does.

The adage in my field is "Negative attention is better than no attention at all." So to answer your first question, a resounding YES. And you can see where your second question might come in to play.

Your last question, about her violent reaction to male attention, is a bit more complicated. It's feasible for her to respond to all men in the same fashion. I'd consider it a form of PTSD, as she would be transported back to that helpless feeling she had moments before thinking she was going to be raped whenever a guy might touch her in that manner or toward that end. But to think she might respond that way to all men who ever touch her might be pushing it a bit. Plus, there is the consideration of her violent reaction of slitting his throat afterward...which not only shows mastery over him but also shows a ruthlessness and courage that I'd think she'd be able to draw upon if needed in the future.

So yes, it's realistic, but could do with some tweaking to make it less stereotypical, I think.

Hope this helps, and thanks for writing in!

Let's Analyze:  Have any personal reflections about negative attention being better than no attention at all?

Character Clinic: Bridger Heidemann

I've got Liberty's character, Bridger "Brick" Heidemann on the couch today. Lucky for me, I've already assessed the love interest in the futuristic sci-fi romance. Brick is sort of an anomaly in his convictions for his day and age where everybody is sleeping with everybody else and there are few moral standards adhered to. He's a private investigator, hired by the heroine Tamryn to track down her best friend, who's missing. Brick values remaining chaste, but he's drawn to Tamryn, despite their different backgrounds and moral codes of conduct. Brick gets kidnapped near the end of the book to be part of an "active sperm donor" business for women looking to get impregnated. (Yikes, Liberty!)

Liberty wants to know: How do I play out dynamics between two very different leads in a believable way? What kinds of mental issues will Bridger face following the kidnapping, especially if there is some physical abuse (i.e., kicking, punching, stabbing) to go along with it?

Liberty -

What we've got here is opposites attracting. Nothing new, but the angle of morality that you are taking is a different twist. I'm not sure how much this is played up in your book, but it sounds like remaining pure is a big part of Bridger's identity, and this is a value Tamryn doesn't hold.

One thing's for certain, his or her stance on morality doesn't have to play a part in physical attraction. Sparks between people can often be surprising, given the different poles they come from. So writing some very real scenes of them trying to deny that chemistry will give your romance readers something to appreciate.

Tamryn will likely want to take things to the next level, riding the wave of her baser desires and instincts. This will be the initial cause of conflict, I assume, and it needs to shake Bridger up a bit....that he could get so close again to "doing the deed," this time with his full faculties about him (i.e., not half asleep). But it will be his lesson in how strong physical attraction can be, and you can subtly get a point in with readers that our mental capacity to stop can overcome the pleasure principle (if you so desire).

Bridger will be wary of her, as she embodies and represents a sensual side of himself that he's either refused to acknowledge or has kept buried because it's safer. But he'll be drawn to her anyway b/c of the attraction. Great place for him to feel that tension...which is great for page turning in a romance.

An aside about your idea to have them both ask to marry each other at the end...Bridger seems to be a pretty traditional sort. Comes from a traditional family, remaining pure, etc. If Tamryn beats him to the punch, even if he has the ring in his pocket, I'd make sure that it was the completion of a character arc for both of them. Bridger possible needing to relinquish some of his iron-tight control, and Tamryn forging ahead into a commitment with a man that up until then she's tried to evade. Something like that. Otherwise, it won't be satisfying to the reader (in my opinion) for the original/traditional role of the man asking the woman to marry him to be usurped.

Really quick about the abduction: He's going to be traumatized, especially given the nature of what he's being abducted for. It would be like his worse nightmare...almost like forced prostitution, even though the end result is impregnation rather than debauchery. Still...to him, it won't be much different. So even if he doesn't actually have sex with anyone before he's rescued, that would mess with his head. (In my weird, psychocrazy way, I think this is awesome, btw.) If he's abused, he'll probably have the usual PTSD responses of flashbacks, nightmares, exaggerated startle response, hypervigilance, etc. I've done many posts on this subject, so I won't go into it here.

Hope this helps, and thanks for being so patient!

Let's Analyze: What are some great examples to point Liberty to of books that have dynamic heroes and heroines who are POLAR opposites?

For a chance to win Ann H. Gabhart's new release, Words Spoken True, click here!

Words Spoken True Review and Giveaway!

Up next for my therapeutic review is Ann H. Gabhart's new historical, Words Spoken True.

Here's a blurb about the book from Ann's website:
 

One woman stands ready to defend her newspaper...even if it means losing out on love.

Adriane Darcy was practically raised in her father's newspaper offices. She can't imagine life without the clatter of the press and the push to be first to write the news that matters. Their Tribune is the leading paper in Louisville in 1855. Then Blake Garrett, a brash young editor from the North with a controversial new style of reporting, takes over a failing competing paper and the battle for readers gets fierce.

When Adriane and Blake meet at a benefit tea, their surprising mutual attraction is hard to ignore. Still, Blake is the enemy, and Adriane is engaged to the son of a powerful businessman who holds the keys to the Tribune's future. Blake will stop at almost nothing to get the story – and the girl. Can he do both before it's too late? Set against the volatile backdrop of political and civil unrest in 1850s Louisville, this exciting story of love and loyalty will hold readers in its grip until the very last page.

I love stories of women stepping out of societal norms. Ann's story just happened to be of even more interest to me in that Adriane was in the newspaper business, and so was I. I wasn't disappointed with her shenanigans to get the latest scoop (read: dressing like a boy! Gotta love that!).

And above all, this was a romance. The chemistry between Adriane and Blake left me absolutely breathless. Of course there were plenty of hurdles for them to overcome, mainly that Blake is Adriane's father's enemy.

I liked the picture of a father raising a daughter, and the relationship between them. Adriane has significant PTSD-like symptoms of being locked in a dark closet by her stepmother, and her thoughts on darkness and light serve a symbolic purpose in the book that I really appreciated.

Blake's backstory contributes to his motivation to see justice brought about for the River Slasher serial killer. (An aside here....but any romance book that also contains a serial killer is a major plus in my book). I was very curious as to what his deal was, so much so that I wanted to skip pages to find out. You won't be disappointed. :)

And last but not least...the way Ann handled the serial killer was well done. She gave him just the right amount of motivation and backstory to make his actions believable. I was inspired to do a post later this week about the Macdonald triad (or triad of sociopathy), so stay tuned.

To enter to win this book:

The giveaways on this blog are meant to be a perk for my readership, so please click to "follow" this blog before leaving a comment below to be entered to win my review copy. Giveaway will last through next Sunday, the 26th. Good luck!

Let's Analyze: This will be a selfish question, purely based on my own interests, but are there any other books out there that you know of who have serial killers within a romance?

Available February 2012 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, 

a division of Baker Publishing Group.

Holidays and Trauma: Making Connections

Holidays can be a really tough time for people who don't have mental health challenges, much less those who do. In fact, the holidays themselves often bring about trauma for many people.

Christmas in particular is one of the toughest holidays for some to soldier through (pun sort of intended). Perhaps because it's a holiday where expected family interaction is coupled with presents, unlike Thanksgiving. Whatever the reason, Christmas can actually usher in a reexperience of pain for people with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

These individuals might feel like Ebeneezer Scrooge instead of Santa's Little Helper. Holidays can reinforce the feeling of being "outside and looking in," like you're watching a movie filled with happy, smiling people while you're stomach is twisted into knots as past events swirl around in your head instead of visions of sugar plums.

Of course, this further isolates the trauma survivor. A typical reaction of family or friends who don't "get" trauma might be, "What's wrong with you?" Even worse, trauma survivors might not even be able to verbalize what's wrong with them. Instead, they feel humiliated and wish they hadn't shown up at the holiday event or party.

For those of you who have family members in your life (or characters!) who have PTSD, be cognizant of how you offer to include them, as well as sensitive to even subtle cues from the person that they aren't comfortable. Survivors may need to create new rituals to help in their healing, and it's important for people in their life to support this by being open to change as needed.

Let's analyze: What have been your traumatic experiences over the holidays, either your own or someone you know? What helped to overcome those feelings?

Character Clinic: Bradley Morgan and Gender Identity Disorder

If you haven't taken my Personality and Plotting Survey, PLEASE DO SO NOW!! (2 minutes, tops.)

Today's character on the couch is courtesy of E.S., who is writing a literary fiction novel about 20-year-old Bradley. Bradley was physically and sexually abused at the hands of his father from the ages of 5-18. He's in a relationship with Curtis, who is supportive, but Bradley has an aversion to sex and often has nightmares/sleep terrors when sleeping alone. Also, Bradley likes to wear women's clothing, mainly at home. Sometimes he feels more comfortable when he's cross-dressing.

E.S. wants to know: Bradley feels like everything he owns and everything he does is marred in some way by his father. How can Bradley take his life into his own hands and escape the hold his father always had over him to make his life feel like it belongs to him, not his father? How can he stop being as utterly terrified of his father as he is and work up the courage to let himself be genuinely happy with his life and who he is? Also, what steps should he take with regards to his aversion to sex?

E.S. -

What you've got here is a homoerotic character-driven novel, but without much plot. You've raised some incredible issues that literary fiction could help shed light on, and I wish you well with it. But what I didn't see from your intake form for Bradley was much of a plot, so while you've got this angst-ridden anti-hero or sorts, I didn't read much that you are planning on doing with said angst-ridden anti-hero.

He's coming from a traumatic, shame-filled past, and his current narrative or life script is focused on how he felt as a young child. The regression he shows at night (almost child-like, needing to be held, etc) might be evidence of this, as well as a PTSD reaction, due to the fact that the abuse most likely happened at night. Bradley is going to need some therapy at some point in this novel to address these issues. It's unlikely that his relationship with Curtis, no matter how supportive, is going to be all he needs to "get past" his past.

As for getting past an aversion to sex, many sex therapists suggest to couples to try sensate focus. The link I've included goes into detail as to how a therapist might structure sessions, so I won't do that here. Needless to say, this is a therapeutically very popular way of handling aversion or discomfort for couples.

You mentioned that you think Bradley might have Gender Identity Disorder. I wanted to take a moment and hijack this mini-assessment to share with my readership a little more about this disorder and some other terms closely related.

Gender Identity Disorder can be exhibited in children or adults, with minor differences in what to look for. Basically, someone with GID might state over and over their desire to be the other sex. Males want to wear female clothes, and vise versa. These individuals generally embrace the stereotypical aspects of the opposite sex, such a man doing all the cooking and cleaning and a woman doing yard work. (Sorry! I said stereotypes.) And FYI, the American Psychology Association is looking to change the criteria for this disorder...and a few others...when the DSM-5 comes out. Check it out here.

However, I'm not sure that Bradley fits all the criteria for this particular disorder. Does he essentially want to be a woman? I realize he's attracted to other men, but that wouldn't preclude him wanting to a woman. Cross-dressing is just that, dressing in the clothes of the opposite sex. Taken to the most extreme, this could include one wanting to be a transexual, (someone who at the far end of the spectrum wants to undergo surgery to make the outside of their body match with the inside). But it could just be that Bradley is a transvestite - someone who cross-dresses (although cross-dresser is the preferred term). Another caveat would be if Bradley gets a sexual enjoyment from dressing in the clothes of the opposite sex. Then it would fall under a transvestic fetishism.

This can actually get pretty confusing, with all these terms! And trying to figure out which are politically correct, etc, can be overwhelming. If you have additional questions about this, just ask below.

Hope this has been helpful E.S.! Good luck to you.

Character Clinic: Tanner Sheppard

Today's character on the couch is Tanner Sheppard, the brainchild of author L. Blankenship. Tanner resides in a science fiction book as an ex-pirate (think spaceships instead of ships). He's killed, betrayed, and slaved people. He was sentenced to fifteen years of inpatient therapy under new PTSD treatment modalities (re-recording the memories and taking the stress out of them so they aren't "panic on tap"), but his friend Maggie broke him out after a year.

Louise wants to know: I’ve done a little reading and I got some helpful feedback from an abuse survivor, but when it comes down to it I have zero experience with the kind of sustained, violent (maybe sexual) abuse Tanner went through… I want to represent it honestly, make his progress an honest fight and not a miraculous recovery. So I’m looking for thoughts on what he’s like when he’s still new to wrestling with the idea of being worth something, of being different. And what sort of steps he may be able to take on his own.

Tanner -

Depending on your age when you had the brunt of the traumatic beatings, whether just physical or sexual, that could have some impact on how you present with traumatic symptoms in therapy and in the present day. The tender psyche of a young child going through those types of things can split into multiple personas as a way to protect the main identity. Later, something can trigger these personas to show up (such as the murder of your dad). This is just FYI.

But as to having a particular formula to follow for abuse victims--that'd be impossible. Based on my experience with clients who suffer from sustained violence or trauma, it's a constant battle, one they never "arrive" from. They can be doing really well and then one memory triggers them into their panicked state and damage control is needed to get them back on track.

For Tanner to even contemplate that he's worth something, he'll have to have someone show him through actions that he is. Whether this is Maggie or one of his sisters or some other mentor-type person...they will have to be patient and consistent with him to help him help himself. If they believe it in, then he will have a less-hard time believing in himself (notice I didn't say easier time). It's an uphill battle.

I'm not familiar with the re-recordings of PTSD memories...unless you mean working with trauma survivors using EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). This theory is controversial, but some swear by it. I've never used it myself, as it requires specialized training in just that theory. It has similarities with exposure therapy (essentially repeatedly exposing a client to what they fear until they become less sensitized to it) and cognitive-behavioral therapy. The idea is that by reprocessing an upsetting emotion/event while bilaterally stimulating the brain (tapping meridians on both sides of the body on the chest, head, face, etc) moves the upsetting emotion that has been stored in the right side of the brain into the left side, where they are processed differently...in theory, taking the disturbing feeling away from the memory, which doesn't go away, but remains, just processed differently. (Hopefully this makes sense...here's a video that demonstrates it.)

Hope that this helps some. I'll gladly welcome additional questions in the comments section. if you want to take him deeper, click here.

For a chance to win Julie Lessman's newest release, A Heart Revealed, click here!

Character Clinic: Joe Cooper

Lorna's character Joe is on the couch today. He's a high school senior quarterback whose biggest dream is to play for the NFL--preferably the San Francisco 49ers. He has a girlfriend Rebecca who he loves dearly. One night, he was texting Rebecca and not paying attention to the road. He hit and killed a jogger. To make matters worse, he ran from the scene and didn't tell anyone. The jogger just happens to be the uncle of Cheryl, the head cheerleader at his school who has always had a crush on him. She's vowed to find out who is responsible for killing her uncle. Yikes!

Lorna wants to know: What is Joe thinking or feeling as he goes through his life after the accident? Will he have trouble in school or make mistakes playing football? Anything important I need to know?

Joe -

You've killed someone. Unless you are an unfeeling, uncaring person (which your intake form would suggest otherwise), then you are definitely going to be affected--seriously--by this traumatic event. The guilt, at times, might be unbearable.

The nightmares you mentioned are evidence of post-traumatic stress, as would any flashbacks while you're awake, avoiding the scene of the crime, perhaps even avoiding your car (opting to ride your bike to school, etc). People with PTSD generally try to avoid any and all reminders of the event, which might mean suddenly Cheryl makes you uncomfortable (besides the fact that she's after you and doesn't know it) because she reminds you of her uncle. Or it might play out in your life by the fact that you don't want to text your girlfriend anymore. Texting reminds you of that split second when you heard your car crunch into something on the road.

It's different for everyone, but *normal* people would probably act different enough after an event like this that even the casual observer would know something was "up" with them, whether they could figure out what it is or not. You'd likely be more withdrawn. Your grades might suffer. Your game might suffer. Life might suddenly crowd you out.

You'll probably be mentally hounded by questions, like, "Could I have done something to save him?" "Should I turn myself in?" "Should I have died too?" "Is my life worth living after having done this?" This will be excellent inner tension for him.

I feel that I must say that any reader is going to want him to come clean by the end of the book, or not only will the book be unsatisfying, it will also be espousing a moral premise that is inherently false. So I hope you've got a great arc planned for him to see this through. Best of luck!

Memorial Day Review and Giveaway of Yesterday's Tomorrow

Happy Memorial Day! I hope you take some time today to remember the veterans who gave their lives for our freedom. I've saved my review of Catherine West's debut novel, Yesterday's Tomorrow, to post today, in honor of those who have gone on before us.

From the author's website:

It’s 1967 and Kristin Taylor wants to go to Vietnam to report on the war, and honor her father’s memory by becoming an award-winning journalist like he was. But no editor will send her. So she strikes out on her own and steps into a world more terrifying than she’d imagined. As she encounters the horrors of war, Kristin struggles to report the truth while desperately trying to keep tabs on her only brother who enlisted some time ago, but both tasks seem impossible.

When she meets photographer Luke Maddox, Kristin knows she’s found a story. The mystery beneath his brooding eyes triggers her curiosity. She’s convinced he’s hiding something and determines to discover his secrets. The only trouble is, he won’t let her within three feet of him.
 
In an unexpected twist, Kristin and Luke are forced to work together. With war raging all around them, they engage in their own tumultuous battle of emotions. Headstrong and willing to risk it all for what they believe in, they’ll do whatever it takes to fulfill their own private agendas. Kristin is after a story that might get her the Pulitzer. Luke wants retribution from the enemy that took away his family. In the face of death, Kristin and Luke must decide if they’re willing to set aside selfish ambition for the love that seems to have ambushed them and captured their hearts.

This book literally had me holding my breath. It whetted my appetite for a good suspense and balanced it with just the right amount of romance and intrigue. Cathy West obviously did a lot of research (I'm sure much more than the sites she references at the end of her book) and the end result is a powerful, moving tale of love, redemption, and overcoming obstacles.

Since this book is set in the Vietnam War time period, I think one of the most prevalent themes running throughout it is that of the reaction of soldiers and media personnel to the war. In short, many people in the book have post-traumatic stress disorder. It was called battle fatigue or shell shock back then, but Cathy obviously did her research about this and explains that to the reader.

Cathy's portrayals of the gruesome aftereffects of war are dead on accurate. For a person to have this disorder, two things have to be present:

(1) the person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others
(2) the person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror.

Check and check! The things the men and women see in war change them. I liked how Cathy had Kristen come to the realization that she wasn't ready for everything she was seeing. Her push to write award-winning material came with an emotional and psychological price that haunted her far past the time when he plane touched down on US soil.

Cathy has people experiencing flashbacks, exaggerated startle responses, auditory hallucinations, difficulty sleeping, irritability and anger...reading this book is almost like having a PTSD manual at your fingertips. Very well done, informative, and realistic.


(Thought this sketch was oh-so-appropriate, considering today and Cathy's book. Click on it to enlarge.)

To be entered in the giveaway for Cathy's book, click on "Follow" to the right (because I want this to be a reward to my readers!) and leave your name and email address in a non-spam format in the comment section below. I'll run the giveaway through Sunday. Good luck!

High on a Mountain Book Review and Giveaway!

Author Tommie Lyn writes historicals with heart. She sent me a copy of her newest release, High on a Mountain, to review, and it was a pleasure to do so on many levels.

You can read the Prologue and Chapters One-Three from Tommie's website, but here's the backcover blurb:

As a boy, Ailean MacLachlainn dreamed of living an adventurous life and longed to be a celebrated warrior of his clan. Until a shy smile and a glance from Mùirne's blue eyes turned his head and escalated his rivalry with Latharn into enmity and open conflict. 

When Ailean became a man, his boyhood dreams faded. Until Bonnie Prince Charlie came to reclaim his father's throne. The Jacobite loyalties of Ailean's clan chief involved the MacLachlainns in the uprising and set Ailean on a course toward a destiny of which he could never have dreamed. 

What happens when a man's dreams turn to dust? And when a man loses everything, does he have what it takes to go on?

So, as my last name might imply, my husband's heritage is very Scottish. Unfortunately for me, Campbells aren't exactly known for being the nicest people in history. (In fact, my husband visited Scotland and was turned away from several villages just because his last name is Campbell. The people still hold a grudge, but it's little wonder.) Tommie has clearly done a lot of research into the feuds and fights, especially of certain battles.

So I open up her Prologue, which is available to read on her webpage, and it's all about us nasty "Cambeuls." (And nasty we were. Geez.) At this point, I closed the book, looked over to my husband, and said, "I believe I know why Tommie wants me to review this book." HA!

But the further I read, the more engrossed I became in Tommie's great story. I realized that her main guy, Ailean, (pronounced A-lun, according to the Scottish Gaelic pronunciation guide at the front of the book), is one psychologically tormented guy. It was fascinating to read--and heartbreaking. It's hard to imagine all this bad stuff happening to one guy, but as her backcover blurb reads, Ailean's dreams do turn to dust and he does lose everything. And I mean everything. (Think 18th century Job.)

And he is way traumatized from it. He suffers PTSD in a very severe form. Tommie portrays the flashbacks accurately and feasibly, and they definitely interfere with Ailean's daily functioning. He avoids things that remind him of his loss. He wishes death upon himself to ease his awesome misery. He was almost instantly stripped of everything that he had previously defined himself as: son, brother, husband, father, freeman, and even his beloved Scotland. He's angry at God, of course, because he feels forsaken and from the looks of things, he has been. He can't move on because he's held captive by his traumatic past and encompassing grief.

The villain is a Cambeul (go figure). And he's a wicked, wicked man. He's got a problem with anger management for sure, and develops a propensity toward alcoholism (actually, it's more than a propensity....it's full blown alcohol dependence). He has a great backstory, which sets up his life direction well, and Tommie even made me feel sorry for this horrible man once or twice.

This book had a satisfying ending and is ultimately about Ailean coming to understand that life might look more beautiful from the mountaintop, but he lives down in the glen. However, if one trusts God's direction, the glen can be beautiful as well.

To be entered in this book giveaway, you need to do 3 three things:

1) Be a follower of this blog.
2) Live in the lower 48 states.
3) Leave a comment below about why modern-day Campbells aren't so terrible (any positive about any Campbell will do) and your email in a spam-me-not format in the comment section below.

I would say that the best Campbell-positive comment will win the book, but I'll use a random generator. :)

Movies & Madness: Finding Nemo

Since I was at home almost a week with my flu-ridden child about two weeks ago, I watched a lot of animated movies in a short period of time. Finding Nemo happens to be one of my daughter's favorites. As an occupational hazard, I began to point out all the therapeutic issues the characters displayed, especially those in the fish tank. (They might as well be representative of an in-patient psychiatric population!)

Gurgle - OCD - disgusted by human mouth, ocean is contaminated
Deb - delusional about her "sister" Flo who is really just her reflection in the glass
Bubbles -neurotic about the bubbles
Gill - the hard-as-nails fish who's been there, done that, got the scar to prove it; into conspiracy theories
Crush - thrill-seeking adrenaline junkie
Bruce - shark with abandonment issues from his dad
Chum - the shark who relapsed on fish by eating his "bring a buddy" before support group
Dory - major short-term memory loss
Nemo - guilt over last words spoken to his father

But none come close to Nemo's father, Marlin. Let's take a look at him. He got married and hopped on the good fin to do the bad thing, resulting in tons of little babies in need of loving care. He then suffers surely the worst kind of pain when he loses his new wife to a shark attack, as well as all his babies--save one: Nemo.

Marlin has severe PTSD from the attack, as is evident in how he babies Nemo and doesn't want to let him grow up. He believes the little fin is proof positive of Nemo's need to be overly smothered. After all, Nemo can't swim as well with his little fin, which serves as a visual reminder to Marlin of all he lost when the shark ate his wife and other babies. Marlin has a fear of the open ocean, now, and does his best to instill that in Nemo. It's "not safe" to swim there.

Then Nemo comes into his own obstinacy when his dad makes him feel foolish in front of his new school friends, harping on how they could have been killed at the drop-off and that Nemo can't swim because of the little fin. Most of you probably know what happens: Nemo gets defiant and goes to the boat, touches it with his fin--a part that resonates in the hearts of all parents with children--and gets caught by the Australian deep-sea diver/dentist before he can return.

Then Marlin is on a mission to find Nemo and bring him back safely. He encounters all manner of traumatic problems, any one of which would send a sane fish over the edge. First Dory - who can't remember anything. Then the sharks and their "Fish are Friends, Not Food" support group--I can only imagine the true terror Marlin would feel after losing his wife and children to a shark and then to have Bruce chase him down, intent on taking "just a little bite." Then they have the jellyfish ordeal, and the whole getting-eaten-by-a-whale ordeal, having to jump in the mouth of a pelican to prevent getting eaten by seagulls, and all this to see little Nemo belly-side up in a plastic bag, pretending to be dead.

Now Marlin is super depressed. Who wouldn't be? But to be reunited with his son, who is alive, brings out the fierce protective part of Marlin once again. He doesn't want Nemo to do anything to endanger himself or put himself out further than Marlin thinks is appropriate.

Then the last upheaval happens....the part where Nemo is small enough to swim through the fish net, where Dory and thousands of other fish are trapped, to motivate the entire group to "swim down!" as a way to fight against being taken in the net--something Nemo has learned from his time with the Fraternal Bond of Tankhood members. Marlin has to make the decision to let Nemo go once again, and this is the deciding moment for him as a father. (I would think writers would get a lot out of watching this movie as it relates to internal motivation and external tensions. Incredible, really.)

It's a kid's movie, after all, so all ends well. But Marlin has come to a more healthy decision about how to parent Nemo, which leaves Nemo happier and Marlin happy, as well. He's beat his mental illness. Realistic? No...not after all Marlin went through. But then again, who are we to try to fight against the willful tenacity of a father with everything to lose? Perhaps its a lesson of the power of the mind over mental illness.

Mental Illness in the Presidency

Happy President's Day to you! Hopefully you're off work, laid back in your recliner, and getting some serious writing and social media networking done. 

In honor of our presidents, I thought a post on mental illness in the Oval Office might be appropriate for my blog readership. Duke University psychiatrists Jonathan Davidson, Kathryn Connor, and Marvin Swartz teamed up in 2006 to diagnose our fearless (or not-so-fearless, in some cases) commanders-in-chief from 1776 to 1974 using biographical information.

37 presidents were researched, and 18 (49%) suffered from some sort of clinically diagnosable disorder. The most common disorders were depression (24%), anxiety (8%), bipolar disorder (8%), and alcohol abuse/dependence (8%) were the most common. 10 of these presidents (27%) suffered a disorder during their presidency, which in most cases probably impaired job performance.

So which president had what? Some of the more notable ones are below:

Abraham Lincoln: depression (more than the others, this was widely known)
Franklin Pierce: PTSD/depression from witnessing his son's violent death in railway accident
Ulysses S. Grant: alcohol abuse/dependence; social phobia
William Taft: sleep apnea (often dozed off during important meetings)
Theodore Roosevelt: bipolar (showed signs of manic energy b/c he was indefatigable)
Lyndon B. Johnson: bipolar
Richard Nixon: heavy alcohol abuse/dependence (especially through Watergate--go figure)
Calvin Coolidge:social phobia; depression (after teen son died of an infection); hypochondria
Thomas Jefferson: social phobia

Interestingly, the contemporaries of Grant, James Madison, Rutherford Hayes and Woodrow Wilson who knew them as young men wouldn't have thought that either of them would grow up to do very much based on their seeming mental problems/deficiencies. 

Just goes to show you that you can't judge a book--or a president--by it's cover too early.

Treatment Tuesday - Survivor's Guilt 101

This week's assessment is for Jennifer. She wrote in about her current WIP featuring two brothers. The hero feels he is to blame for his brother's death. His brother was driving the car and they were having an argument about the hero's irresponsibility when they got into an accident. The hero's brother died, leaving the hero with survivor's guilt. To add insult to injury, the hero's brother was considered the "perfect" brother, the responsible one--yet he was the one who died. Enter the heroine, who was the girlfriend of the deceased brother. She finds out she is pregnant, and the hero wants to "make things up" to his brother by marrying her and giving the baby a name.

Jennifer wants to know: Would this reaction make sense? Are there any other common factors found in people experiencing this type of guilt?

Before we get to your specific scenario, a brief overview of Survivor's Guilt might benefit my readers. Survivor's guilt is a phenomenon that occurs when a person experiences a traumatic event and lives when one or more people died. This could be war, a car accident, terrorist attack, hurricane--any event where some people die and others do not. The survivor perceives himself to have done wrong just by surviving.

Survivor's guilt used to be it's own diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual until 1994 when it was subsumed under Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It carried with it many of the same criteria as PTSD does now, including depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances, withdrawal, nightmares, episodes of uncontrollable crying/laughing, and a loss of interest in things that one brought pleasure. (Very similar to PTSD.)

This type of trauma response can result from 1 of 3 situations: (1) individuals feel guilty for surviving or being uninjured when others were killed or injured; [your hero fits here] (2) they were unable to rescue someone or had to leave someone dying in the disaster; or (3) it was not possible to overcome "the bad guys" (Holen, 1993; Simpson, 1993).

Some of the questions your hero will be thinking:

• Why did I live when the he died?
• Should I have died so he could live?
• Would he have had a better life, more to live for? 
• What more could I have done to save him?

What makes your story doubly interesting is that your hero has both active and passive survivor's guilt. According to clinical psychologist Yael Danieli, there is both "real" and "imagined" guilt. She distinguishes between them in that real, conscious guilt comes from an actual act of commission or omission on the part of the survivor that may have contributed to the emotional endangerment/harm/death of the other. The fact that your hero and his brother were arguing in the car might indeed have hindered the brother's driving reflexes in some way.

Imagined (also called passive) guilt is guilt a person's feels when they wish they could have acted differently, maybe more heroically, and as such would have prevented the harm that befell the other person who died. Usually this guilt happens in the absence of having knowingly acted in a harmful manner (i.e., the person didn't do anything that would have hurt anyone else), but not always. Your hero could have been talking about roses on the side of the highway when the other driver hit them and there was absolutely no fault of his in the accident. But because of his passive guilt about the argument, he's moved on to active guilt about playing a role in the actual accident.

[A caveat: one question to ask yourself about your hero is this--is he a control freak? You mentioned he wasn't the most responsible of brothers, which would lead me to the conclusion that he's not a control freak, but I ask this question because those people who are frequently have an even harder time dealing with survivor's guilt. The feeling of utter helplessness in the face of what might seem to be a random, senseless event leaves them unable to cope. They would rather believe that they could have done something differently to counteract their feeling of ineffectualness.]

So he's got this beast called survival's guilt. Would it lead him to want to marry his brother's girlfriend to give the baby a name? Short answer? Sure. Many survivors try to join in the "recovery effort" after a traumatic event--and trying to help others impacted by the loss is a major way to do this. It might be a proactive way he could relieve the guilt, assuming that relief is something he actually wants. But for some reason, this doesn't ring especially true to me, almost as if I'd think he'd rather wallow in the guilt, you know? You mentioned that he was some sort of slacker. Irresponsible. That his brother was the "perfect" brother.

My gut tells me that your hero would have many dormant feelings of worthlessness or not being as worthy as his brother emerge after the accident. Old messages of him never "measuring up" or not being as good as his brother might have been triggered, which would possibly illicit all manner of self-condemnation, inner turmoil, or acting in such a way as to prompt rejection or disdain from others so that his internal feelings and external factors gel.

So for a guy like this (if I indeed pegged him right), marrying the girlfriend would have to serve some greater purpose. You didn't mention anything about love in the character sketch, and a pregnancy is time-limited, so it appears that the marriage would be very close to the death of the brother--within the year. I got to thinking that if he had loved this girl all along that would make the marriage all that more bittersweet and tormenting, like he finally got what he wanted--but at the expense of his brother. That's emotionally intense!

How would your character make an arc that leaves the reader satisfied that he'd dealt with the guilt and moved on?

Aaron Haas wrote about survival guilt in Holocaust survivors in his paper (found in Lemberger, 1995). In it, he writes, "Guilt is the penance one pays for the gift of survival." Psychologist Donna Marzo wrote that instead of having a person focus on their guilt, they should focus on the gift of survival. In your book, that could mean a gift for your hero to change his ways, mend his relationships, be better than he was. It's a second chance. Let his internal arc swing this direction to give your reader a nice cathartic conclusion as he embraces life and living.

Good luck with this! Any other questions, leave them for me below. Hope this helps.

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