Four Domains of Emotional Intelligence

Last week, I introduced the concept of Emotional Intelligence by describing what people without it have issues with. You can click here to find out more. Then I put out a call for definitions of emotional intelligence from my readers. I only had two brave souls, Keli and Shilpa, but they did a great job! Thanks ladies!

According to Dr. Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence (1995), Emotional Intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. So Keli was right in that it is the ability to look outside yourself, but it's also the ability to look inward, too.

Goleman theorizes that there are four parts to EI: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness (empathy), and relationship management (social skills).

Now you know our characters don't have all of these! Any book would end with a better character arc if your characters can improve in one or more of these areas. Let's look at them closer. Below is a chart that nicely shows how the four areas are spread over actions/observations and personal/social arenas.

• Self-awareness – The ability to recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence. This is the ability to step outside yourself with focused observation of how you feel and react in various situations.
• Self-management – The ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances. Having a non-reactive analytic approach to your feelings and problem solving to increase appropriate responses.
• Social awareness – The ability to observe and understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization. In a nutshell, this is empathy, a fundamental "people skill."
• Relationship management – The ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict. In other words, having good social skills and being competent in relating to the emotions of others and remain connected.

So think about how your character fares in these areas and pick at least one to really carry them through on an emotional intelligence arc. People like to be around high EQ people, and reading about people reaching a greater level of EQ is equally satisfying.

Does Your Character Lack Emotional Intelligence?

Look at the following list of characteristics and see if your character suffers from any of them.

□ Poor impulse control
□ Inability to focus

□ Pessimistic

□ Disrespectful

□ General unhappiness with self

□ Aggressive

□ Fearful

□ Over-reactive

□ Lack of empathy

□ Mistrustful

□ Destructive

□ Floods with anxiety

□ Non-assertive

□ Falls apart under stress

□ Sulky

□ Seeks immediate gratification

□ Uncaring

□ Chronically sad or angry

□ Impolite, rude

□ Preoccupied with negativity

□ Passive

□ Emotionally inappropriate

□ Whiny

□ Overly sensitive to criticism

If so, he or she lacks emotional intelligence! Research has shown that a person's Intellectual Intelligence has little to do with how successful they are as much as their Emotional Intelligence (EQ). We all know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful. What they are missing is emotional intelligence!

So now that you know what's wrong with your character (HA! Wish it were that simple...) come back next Thursday as we discuss the four parts of emotional intelligence and how you can help bring your character through a better character arc by addressing one or more of the areas.

Let's look really quickly at the difference in men and women who have a high IQ versus men and women who have a high EQ.

(On the EQ graph, men are represented on the top, women on the bottom.)

Q4U: I will be going more in depth about this concept the next Thursday, but before then, what do you think emotional intelligence is? (And I will know if you look this up...) :-P

Don't forget: The giveaway is still going on for Angie Breidenbach's Gems of Wisdom (a great book for your writing shelf). Click here!