Dear Jeannie: Invasion of Privacy and Polar Opposites

Dear Jeannie,

In futuristic Asia, certain people are subjected to a certain government program where everything they think and feel gets monitored by an unknown individual. Lisa, who has turned sixteen, is one of them. My question is how would she react to this sudden invasion of privacy, having a complete stranger she's not allowed to communicate with know all her innermost thoughts? On the other hand, how would the unseen observer handle knowing everything about her?

Anonymous 

Dear Anonymous,

No teenager wants their secrets splayed open for anyone to see (unless they themselves post them on a site like facebook). It's the "certain people are subjected to" line that will most likely chap her. She'll rail against being one of the chosen ones, and most likely she'd try to "trick" them by thinking things that she normally wouldn't, etc. But she would only be able to keep up the charade for so long. But I imagine she'd still fight against it. Still, she'd have to be curious (not that she'd ever admit it) as to who was listening in and observing her. She might become somewhat of an exhibitionist, leading them on a merry goose chase. It might not progress to anything resembling Stockholm Syndrome (though there might be similarities...she's not physically "captive" but her mind is), but it could. Feasibly, over time, she could even begin to develop romantic feelings toward the person, if you were thinking of going in that direction. Sounds like an interesting plot line, for sure. Thanks for writing in!

Dear Jeannie,

Dani is a survivor, who makes more allies than enemies. My trouble is her son, Aidan. Where she is aggressive, he is thoughtful. Where she draws her sword, he calls a time-out. He's a good strategist--more from study and theory than practice--but he would never try to outwit his mother. I have been modeling their relationship (and reigns) after Louis XIV and XV of France--a domineering public figure, followed by an overwhelmed introvert. This assumption isn't necessarily accurate. What kind of parent/child dynamics would contribute to a healthy adult relationship between this single mother and her son? (Her councilors and warlords used him as a pawn often during his childhood, which neither of them appreciated.)

Dethroned in Dallas 


Dear Dethroned,

Having a common enemy always forms close ties. If Dani's councilors used her son, especially for ill, she'd be protective of him, no matter their differences (assuming she loved/wanted him, that is). Vice versa for Aidan. Since Dani is such an alpha, she might naturally try to coax her son into a more subdued position, as two alphas in one pack don't work. Not knowing the dynamics that made dad leave the picture, Aidan might be more than willing to be put in that position, as doing so evokes kindness and pride from mom. He'd most certainly do this is if he was isolated in a castle somewhere and didn't have peers his own age to incite him to rebel. Dad's departure would most definitely play a role in the dynamics between them. If dad died while Aidan was young, then that would further solidify their relationship, even though polar opposites. They would be what each other has left, so to speak. So I guess I'd want to know more about dad and other environmental factors. Feel free to write more in the comments...I'll get to them when I'm not working my day job. :)

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Dear Jeannie: Stockholm Syndrome and Sexually Active Abused Women

Dear Jeannie,

My protag is part of a group of allies. he has supernatural powers, but is struggling to control them. The rest of his group doesn't notice this. When he nearly kills himself by his own power, he is offered help by a team of drug dealers with similar issues, who use the drugs to keep powers under control. The drug dealers offer him aid and sympathy, and foster feelings of anger and betrayal toward his old group. The two factions confront each other, and his old teammates learn the truth, and forcefully drag my protag back, in part to finally help him.

What might his emotional state and feelings be after being "taken away" from his new allies and back to his old friends who originally "abandoned him"?

Unknown in the UK


Dear Unknown,

The main question you have to ask is whether your protag, at any time, views the drug dealers as enemies. If he did, and reluctantly accepted their help because he was at the end of his rope, then what you're describing here could very well fit into Stockholm Syndrome. (This is when the victim overly identifies with and relates to the abuser/captor/etc and doesn't see them in a negative light.) If your protag looks at them from the beginning as allies as well, then this would not be the case.

Since you have your protag on the drug dealer side, confronting his old allies, I'm leaning toward Stockholm Syndrome. If he respects them, how they manage their powers--even if it is through using drugs--then even though they are the enemy camp, so to speak, he'd still fight on their side. Once captured by his old friends, he'd want to return to the drug dealers. (Even more so if addicted to the substances they plied him with.) It would likely take a major event of some kind, where the new friends can prove to the protag definitively that the drug dealers were "bad," before he'd willingly succumb to their ministrations.


Dear Jeannie,
 
One of my main characters is constantly degraded by women and men (especially men who treat her as an object for them to control). In her childhood, her foster father tried to take advantage of her sexually. I read somewhere that even after being taken advantage of in such ways, girls still remain sexually active. Can you explain the progression from being sexually abused to sexually active?
 
Always Anonymous


Dear Always Anonymous,

I wouldn't call it a progression so much as a process. When young girls are abused, it is often by someone they know and love, even respect. Probably one of the most heartbreaking stories I heard from a client was from one who had been abused by her father for years. She said she loved her father for abusing her, because when he was having sex with her was the only time he was nice to her. (Jaw dropping, right?)

Young girls learn that it is during the sexual act that they are often treated well, noticed, cared for. They come to associate sex and sexual acting out (dressing to receive lecherous looks, being forward and flirty, etc) with love and affection. They can't divorce the two. So they grow up to be extremely sexually active and promiscuous, because by so being, they meet their Need for Affection (you can grab my free Writer's Guide when you sign up for my newsletter, which talks more about the three basic needs of people).

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