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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Psychology Behind Writer's Conferences

I've now been two five Christian writer's conferences. Not much in the way of things, I suppose, but enough to have a very solid feel for what goes on. Truthfully, it's a fascinating study in human behavior and motivation.

What's the basic motivation for attending a writer's conference? Easy. Publication. No one goes to a conference, paying over $500 to attend, not counting cost of travel, without having some very big motivation to do so. Seeing your name in print is one such motivation.

Interesting, though, is that you're surrounded by 700 other people (at large conferences) who have the exact same motivation and dream.

This tends to play itself out in two main reactions that I noticed, which are like flip sides of a coin:

1) Camaraderie. 

Hanging out after hours with Janice Boekhoff, Meg Mosely, Rosslyn Elliot, Sarah Forgrave, Kathy Buchanan, me, Katie Ganshert, and Krista Phillips.

It's truly magical being with like-minded people (and most of the magic happens in the bar after the workshops are over). Writer's are odd folk. The world in general doesn't get us, but we certainly get each other. Fellowship can be so sweet. Encouragement, praying for one another, cheering others on for their successes and good news.

2) Competition.

When your friend, who writes the same genre you do gets closer to publication (i.e., gets an agent/editor interested in submission, wins a contest, gets a contract, etc), sometimes that might seem like one step further away for yourself. Or when a buddy has an extraordinary talk with an agent while you never even managed to catch the agent's eye....jealousy can rear it's ugly head.

[An aside here...multiple times during the ACFW conference I found myself likening the after-hours drinks and talks to junior high dating. You want to "go steady" with an agent (i.e., get them to represent you), and many times relying on people who know that agent is helpful. It's like having a friend take a note to the boy you like and say, "Will you represent (i.e. like) me? Check yes or no." Of course, you'd include the little boxes like we did in middle school. More than one author laughed at this, b/c it's quite accurate.]

The Bottom Line

Just as I would tell a client that their worth is not defined by a relationship, a past trauma, mistakes, or perceived weaknesses, I'd like to tell writer's that your worth is not defined by whether an agent takes a second look at you or an editor asks for a submission. You're not defined by whether you have speaking engagements, sky-high Amazon ratings, or 1000s of followers of facebook "likes."

In fact, you're not even defined by whether your writing is even good or not. My daughter writes that she loves me, and it's barely legible and certainly not spelled correctly. But the piece of paper (bound or not) doesn't define her. It's the thought behind the writing that counts, and those thoughts, for Christian writers, come from God.

It's God who defines us, and we write for Him. Even if our writing never sees the light of day, if we write to fulfill the calling He's placed on us, then you can imagine God sitting by a cozy fire in heaven, curled up with your manuscript, enjoying it. This should be enough...and if it's not, that should be your prayer.

Let's Analyze

Have you been to a writer's conference? What did you think of my metaphor of flip sides of the same coin? Do you agree? Is jealousy in writing something you struggle with? What words of encouragement do you have that you feel led to share?

Comments (11)

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Thanks for that, I needed to read this today!
You had me at the word psychology. I love your point and couldn't agree more--God defines us. Amen and Amen.
~ Wendy
1 reply · active 652 weeks ago
thanks lady! amen is right. :)
Lex Keating's avatar

Lex Keating · 652 weeks ago

Fellow member of ACFW here, and this year I couldn't go to conference. But my friend (and neighbor!) could. After desperately yearning for publication for thirty years, she got her first contract at this year's conference. I'm glad for her, certainly, but the last couple years have been hard on my writing and I was horrified to find myself less than completely joyful on her behalf. Envy isn't something I usually wrestle with. I've always assumed that since I'm writing first for me and second for Christ, that how I measure up to other writers isn't relevant. Perhaps I ought to switch those top two priorities before my next conference... :)
1 reply · active 652 weeks ago
from your lips to God's ears, Lex. i think we should always write with God first, and the whole publication thing tends to take our focus off him...just by the nature of the business. i certainly haven't found the right balance.
Hi Jeannie! I had chills reading through this. You amaze me! :) Oddly enough, I don't struggle very much with the jealousy bit. I truly am happy for other writers that have made it or made it further than me. What I struggle with is my own "stuff". The stuff I can control...but don't. Procrastination or downright laziness. Then at the end of every night, I lay in bed and think I had the opportunity...why didn't I? (Okay, enough from me. It's late and obviously I need to stop sharing!) LOL
1 reply · active 652 weeks ago
thanks so much lacie! you're generous spirit for others was so evident in the bright side blog bash that you hosted for those who couldn't attend ACFW! you were truly happy for us to be able to go...but made the best of it while staying at home. awesome witness, lady. awesome.
You nailed it, Jeannie. While on the one hand I love, love, love my writer friends, the truth is that we're all at the conference with the same ultimate goal: a publishing contract. While it can be hard not to let the reality of the competitive side of things gain a foothold on occasion, what I find amazing and uplifting is that it rarely does. I love how generous and encouraging writers are and how genuinely happy they are when good things happen to others traveling the path to publication.
1 reply · active 652 weeks ago
absolutely, keli. for the most part, any way. it's a difficult balance to maintain on your own, but with Christ, I feel we fall more on the camaraderie side. :)
Jeannie! How did I not get to meet you last week?!?! Travesty. I definitely agree with you about the two sides of the coin, and definitely fight my own battles with comparison. I was just telling someone about one of the OTHER two sided coins of the writing life: pride (I write so much better than _____, why isn't it happening for ME?!) vs. self doubt (I'm a complete hack! I don't deserve to be published. I have no idea what I'm doing!) I had no idea those two emotions (read: sins) could even coexist, but I often find myself feeling them both at the exact same time.
1 reply · active 652 weeks ago
oh my gosh. HOW did that happen? seriously? we'll have to wait an entire year? that's ridiculous.

thanks for popping over...i agree with you about the entirely separate coin of pride/self-doubt. i should write a post on that.

see you around cyberspace!

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