Today I've got Phoebe "Fee" Buckingham on my couch. She's crafted by Mojo in a historical fantasy. Fee was born into privilege. Her mother died early on in her life, and her father thinks of her an as asset to be used to further his business dealings. Her brother is overprotective and indulgent, but doesn't understand her. Fee doesn't really seem to understand herself or who she wants to be. She doesn't feel she can be who she really is on the inside.
Mojo wants to know: Why does Fee consistently fight against everything and everyone, when I know all she really wants is someone who will protect her and her right to be herself, which is so readily within her grasp, but she won't take it! She's driving me nuts.
You're growing up in a time where women are more like objects than people, it sounds. For certain personalities, this goes against the grain, and your personality appears to be one of them. I'd encourage you to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test here. Societal norms aren't enough to restrict some personalities, like the ENFP, for example. The desire to be purely yourself is strong within that type. For more info, see David Keirsey's site here.
Even as you feel your dad is the road block standing in the way of your freedom, you simultaneously dismissed him through "any fault of his own" for using you a a "palm in his machinations." This is a great example of environmental influences.
The easiest answer to your author's question is your personality. But when you combine nature (personality) with nurture (environment), it creates huge motivators. In your case, you were born into privilege, and with that, comes certain responsibilities and expectations. Your personality bucks against the environment, and that causes tension within you enough that you feel this innate urge to react against everything.
My guess is that your character arc should include some wild blindsided reactions against people and situations, and end with you being more discerning, accepting that some people and some things are really good for you, even if it doesn't look like it initially. If the guy you mentioned allows this emotionally reactive part of you to come out and play, even better.
If you want to go deeper, you know where to find me.
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