Friday Free Association Chain

The word is........

SCOLD.

First commenter free associates with the above word. Second commenter takes the first commenter's word and free associates, and so on.

Remember -- FIRST thing that comes to mind. GO!!

LAST CHANCE! Click here for a chance to win Trish Perry's new release, Tea for Two!

Technique Toolbox - Teaching a Child to Self-Regulate

I work with a lot of kids, and a lot of whom come from really traumatic backgrounds. As a result, they have a lot of emotional problems and have trouble self-regulating when their world gets out of whack (which it often does).

Children, being developmentally slower intellectually, don't have the words to express themselves when they are upset. Very young children cry, and older children tend to scream and have tantrums. It's important to intervene in a child's life and teach the the very important skill of self-regulating as early as possible.

At a conference I attended, I found out one of the simplest interventions you can do with a child to get the point of deep breathing across to them. I've not used this with my 3-year-old yet, but I plan on it. So if you've got children in your novels having a difficult time calming down or stopping tears, give this a shot.

What you will need:

An index card
Markers
Laminating machine (if possible, to make the card last longer)

What you do:

Have the child draw a picture of a flower on one side. As they draw, explain that to really appreciate the beautiful fragrance of a flower, you have to inhale deeply. Demonstrate with an exaggerated expansion of your chest cavity.

Then have the child turn the index card over and draw a picture of a birthday candle on a piece of a cake. Tell the child about what a deep breath is needed to make sure the candle is fully blown out. Exhale with them, practicing to blow the candle out by directing your outward breath to the card.

Purpose:

Children have to learn what breathing can do for them when they are upset. Getting oxygen to the brain can help sooth the child, make them more rational and alert. Most people tend to breathe in shallow breaths, and practicing doing this automatic function with a different method is useful. Breathing through the nose gets the oxygen in faster because people tend to inhale more deeply when doing so by their nose anyway.

Children can learn to calm themselves (called self-regulation) by using this two-sided card that fits in their back pocket. Some kids get so upset that they are red-faced, crying, and unable to speak, even if they should want to. Helping them see that moments like that are the perfect time to get the card out and practice self-soothing with deep breathing.

Click here for a chance to win Trish Perry's new release, Tea for Two!

Treatment Tuesday - Nazi Sympathizer?

This week's character assessment comes from James. He's writing a historical drama-slash-psychological-thriller during the WWII time period. Otto* is my first Nazi to take up space on the couch. Otto was raised during Hitler's early reign, and his idealistic youth's driving motive was restoring Germany to its rightful place. He enlists in the German army and goes to war against his father's will. He survives, but not without scars and disillusionment in Nazism. Stationed in Russia, Otto comes to feel affection for a Russian girl, who he later discovers is Jewish. She gets killed somehow because of Otto and Otto becomes embittered. He fights to find justification for his decisions, clings to his faith, and dies internally divided but unrepentant.

Then the story begins.

It's in his limbo stage after death that he meets a man named Peter who offers him a way out of he explains why he lived his life the way he did. Otto resists but eventually agrees to sit down, and at length, he reaches catharsis, accepts forgiveness, and is taken into Heaven.

James wants to know: Since this character is a Nazi, how will I be able to confront a stereotype and challenge what people think about God's forgiveness? No one is beyond redemption, but people don't quite grasp that God will forgive anyone for anything, even people with beliefs we demonize.

This will be a challenge to write well, James. Well, actually the challenge will be to write the back cover copy well enough so that people even want to buy and take home a book about a Nazi. 

When I say the word "Nazi" and ask you to free associate (say the first word that comes to mind), the first word that likely goes through anyone's head is Hitler. Hitler was associated with the mass execution of Jews, concentration camps, Aryan Nation....none of this is positive association. To add even more difficulty to your plight, you've got a character who's gung-ho Hitler, at least initially.

I'm not advocating not to write this story at all. I'm intrigued by the concept, and I think others will be, too. But you'll have to be very careful to use people's perception in your favor. Psychology can help with this.

Public opinion about Nazis is largely hatred, disbelief, and some ignorance. It's the ignorance you can play on. I would only hope that there were some people in Hitler's regime who didn't agree with him 100%. Some people who risked it all to save Anne Franks. That's the beauty of fiction...take us to a time, place, and era and show us something we don't expect to see, make us feel something (sympathy) for a Nazi we don't expect to feel.

If you make this Otto a regular guy, with dreams and vices like the average Joe, he'll be someone others can relate to. Not many people in today's age can relate to Nazism. There is the neo-Nazi movement in America (if you really want to be disturbed, check out their website), but by and large, this kind of nationalism hasn't been experienced by people today, unless you count the swell of national sentiment after 9-11. If you could capture that positive feeling of unity and somehow bring readers around to understanding that that was where Otto was coming from, it could work. I could relate, even as I swallowed my bile about him being a Nazi and experiencing the same thing I felt.

I know you didn't ask for that little bit, but consider is a freebie. :)

Really, a book about a Nazi should be no different than a book about a prostitute or a hero who robs banks.  But because the word Nazi will be in the book blurb somewhere, you've got to quickly cover major ground in getting the reader to buy in to the concept, since Nazi is one of the most hated terms in all the land.

How can you do this? Here's a few suggestions:

1) In the back cover blurb, I'd mention his disillusionment very quickly. No need to go into his idealistic youth...not on the cover. Unless you're wanting it to be a secret that Otto is dead at the beginning of the book, I'd start off with the old, bitter Otto...the one who wished he could have done some things differently. We can all relate to that. 

2) Show Otto in a very human moment in the very first scene of the book. Readers who get past the blurb usually go to page one. If your page one has Otto engaged in a battle against Russia or blinking at Hitler with adoring eyes, they'll throw it back immediately.

3) Use Otto's introspection to your advantage. You will need to use this cleverly, since it looks like the book is sort of an interview between Peter and Otto to determine if he can leave his limbo state. So Peter will likely be asking questions and Otto answering (or refusing). If Otto's introspective thoughts bring into question his blind allegiance or whisper at a regret he feels for the death of the Russian girl...you'll grab your readers. We all want to read about that stuff because we've all questioned and regretted. It's universal experience, while Nazism is not.

You know, I feel compelled to mention a book by Francine Rivers, Redeeming Love. Everyone knows that this book is a fictionalized account of Hosea and Gomer, and everyone knows that Gomer was a prostitute in the worst kind of way. This book has been in the top 25 for over ten years. And people knew exactly what it was going to be about before they bought it. Here's her blurb with my interjections in red:

Can God’s Love Save Anyone? (the overarching question...very intriguing)
California’s gold country, 1850. A time when men sold their souls for a bag of gold and women sold their bodies for a place to sleep. (sets the overall tone) Angel expects nothing from men but betrayal. Sold into prostitution as a child, she survives by keeping her hatred alive. (wham! non-prostitutes can relate to this, and it hints that she's not thrilled with her occupation) And what she hates most are the men who use her, leaving her empty and dead inside. Then she meets Michael Hosea. (the sentence that keeps us reading the rest of the blurb)

Like you said, your novel would be a perfect example to showcase how even the very worst sinner can be forgiven. I wish you the best with it. Any additional questions, please leave them in the comment section.

Q4U: What about you, readers? What would make you pick up a book about a Nazi? Please leave constructive comments that James can use in his characterization.

Click here for a chance to win Trish Perry's new release, Tea for Two!

Tea For Two Therapeutic Review and Giveaway!

Trish Perry's latest release, Tea for Two, was a delight for me to read...mainly because I'm a therapist and the heroine is too.

Here's a blurb from Trish's website:

Counselor Tina Milano has been visiting Milly’s Tea Shop regularly for the past several months. She has many friends but no steady man in her life. Zack Cooper is a local farmer who provides Milly with fresh fruit and vegetables. As a single parent, Zack is doing his best to raise his teenage son and daughter on his own.

When the kids get in minor scrapes with the law, Milly gently encourages Zack and Tina to work together to draw the teens back before their rebellious natures land them in even hotter water. At first Tina sees the relationship in only a professional capacity, but soon her friends notice the luscious scent of romance in the air and decide to help things along.

Tea for Two is a faith-filled novel that explores the delight of second chances, warm friendship, and unexpected romantic encounters.

I appreciate small towns, I do. I live in one. And Middleburg, Virginia, definitely constitutes a small town. I felt for Tina, as she encounters the joys and pitfalls of living and counseling in a small town. Everyone knows everyone else, you can hardly go anywhere and not encounter clients. (This just happened to me at Applebee's on Cinco de Mayo....except I saw two, not just one.)

Anyway, Trish went to lengths to make sure that her romantic set-up passes the muster...and it "technically" does. When Tina agrees to informally help Zack with his teens, she tells Milly that it'll be all "loosy-goosey." The argument is then made that counselors often give informal advice to friends outside of their professional capacity, and this is very true. I don't enter into a counseling contract with someone I eat lunch with and help them process through several options available to them.

That aside, this story was such an enjoyable read, full of discovery and change for everyone involved, including a delightful little twist you just don't expect toward the end. Zack's children display classic signs of abandonment issues, and in the aftermath of Zack's own grief, he probably missed some signs prior to the police involvement that would have clued him in earlier to their distress. Tina's unabtrusive methods prove to help this fictional family, and the character arc for the kids and for Zack is satisfying to read. (And it gives me hope for a few of my own clients.....)

Tea for Two is the second book in Trish's Tea with Millicent series, but it reads fine as a stand-alone. To be entered in the giveaway, leave a comment below with your email address in a non-spam format; i.e., charactertherapist (at) hotmail (dot) com. I'll randomly pick a winner and announce it on Saturday in conjunction with my Weekend Funnies.

Don't miss out on this charming book!

Weekend Funnies

Candorville

 Copyright Darrin Bell, 9-12-09

Friday Free Association Chain

The word is........

COOK.

First commenter free associates with the above word. Second commenter takes the first commenter's word and free associates, and so on.

Remember -- FIRST thing that comes to mind. GO!!

T3 - Motivation Reaction Units

Two weeks ago, I posted on the Rational Brain v. the Emotional Brain. In that post, I mentioned that a person can do things that seem to outsiders to be utterly crazy (one example I gave was Mike Tyson biting Holyfield’s ear). I explained the reason for this is that the emotional brain commandeers the rational brain.

This got me thinking about the Motivation-Reaction Unit popularized by Dwight Swain. I believe I can make them make more sense to you. My crit partner, Katie Ganshert (who has her first book coming out in May 2012 from Waterbrook Multnomah!) has a great explanation of a MRU on her blog, which I hijacked. (*waves* at Katie!)

What elements compose an MRU?

1. Motivating stimulus: the stimulus occurs outside your character
2. Character reaction: the reaction occurs inside your character

Four Components of Character Reaction:

1. Visceral reaction: the character has no control over this. This is a gut reaction that happens automatically.

2. Thought: what thoughts race through your character's mind after the visceral reaction?

3. Action: what does your character do?

4. Speech: what does your character say?

Important note about order: Don't get it wrong.

The motivating stimulus must come first. Your character can't react to something that hasn't happened yet. You wouldn't want to write: She yelped and jabbed her finger in her mouth after the hot water splashed against her skin. This reads funny--the MRU is out of order.

The components of the character reaction must stay in order as well. A visceral reaction always comes before action or speech. When hot water splashes against your skin, your nerve endings burn, then you yelp. It's not the other way around.

Get the order right and hook your reader. Get the order wrong, and your reader will know something is off, even though they might not be able to verbalize what's wrong. (End of Katie's explanation.)

So we know that our emotional brain (which is the amygdala) overrides the rational brain (prefrontal cortex) at times, even surprising us with our own reactions. Research has shown that the amygdala is not only faster, but it's more powerful. (Just believe me on this. It has something to do with many connections there are from the amygdala to everywhere else in the brain. Won't bore you with more.)

What does this mean? It means that our emotions have more influence in our life than our rational brain. Swain doesn't mention "emotions" proper in the actual character reaction, but it actually comes before the "visceral reaction" in the sequence. Let's look at an example.

If I'm walking to my car in the parking lot and a shadow rushes at me from the side, I will feel fear within a millisecond. The visceral reaction I have might be nausea, panic, blood rushing in my ears.  Maybe a few tenths of a second after that, I might experience an instinctive or reflexive action, such as clawing for my mace spray or grabbing car keys to strike out with. It's reflexive, and in times of danger, the standard reflexes are fight, flight, or freeze.

The rational brain is so far behind that a thought or attempt to speak hasn't even engaged yet. I haven't yet fully understood what is happening to me. I certainly haven't figured out that I might be either getting robbed or that some overzealous Brownie is just trying to sell me cookies. Even more interesting is that I might actually have the rational thought that this is just a Brownie selling Girl Scout cookies, but that won't stop my emotions and physiological reactions already under way (the cold sweat, labored breathing, rapid heart rate).

Anyway...hopefully you see how tightly interwoven the emotional brain is in the entire character reaction sequence. Swain instinctively knew this...and psychology and neuroscience back him up.